Monday, October 20, 2014

8 types of people you encounter when commuting

We’ve all encountered them one way or the other. Sometimes, they are us. Find out eight different kinds of commuter personalities here.

1. The Tsk-er.

There’s a heavy build-up of vehicles in front of your bus.

The lady beside you: Tsk.

The driver steps on the brakes abruptly and you and the other passengers almost trade faces with each other.

The lady beside you: Tsk.

It’s almost 9:30am and you’re still an hour away from where you work.

The lady beside you: Tsk.

Yes, we’ve all sat beside one. The man or woman who constantly looks at their watches and utters the word that does not end with anything positive—tsk. Yes, it evokes negativity. Yes, she should have woken up earlier. Yes, she should have taken the MRT (as if she won’t find something to “tsk about” there). There’s a commute back. Tsk.

2. The Crush

That pretty face. The face you always look for upon getting on the bus. The face you wish would say “hi” first to you. The face that you won’t mind sleeping beside you with her head on your shoulder. 

The one who looks like Christine Reyes. Your Bus Crush. The one who takes your tambucho breath away. The one who makes the coldest of buses warm. That person who always smells so fresh in the morning and even fresher going home. The one who confirms to you that you have a very, very…very sad life.

3. The Big Time

The person who loves Ninoy Aquino. It’s 7am and he pays for his fare with a 500 peso bill. And is not even apologetic about it. Because he’s big time. 

The konduktor scratches his head. What does Mr. Big Time do? Nope, he doesn’t say sorry. He shows his wallet that only has 1000 and 500 peso bills inside (he probably needs his barya for the extra tricycle ride to his office). Wow, big time. 

He is so rich that he does not have time to prepare his fare the previous night. He is probably playing cards with his amigos. Or at the cockpits. And yes, he does not care about the hard time that his 1000 peso bill will cause the konduktor. This is probably because he thinks “that’s his job anyway”. 

Yes, Mr. Big Time. With those fake Raybans and class A Nike shoulder bag. Big Time.

4. The Dreamer

Yes, the ones who apparently do not get enough sleep at night. They take advantage of the traffic (and your shoulder) and get some shut eye on buses (those who do this on jeepneys are people who should be given awards—the Buwis Buhay Award) without human regard for…uhm…other humans. 

These are the people you see with their mouths open. Perhaps even snoring. While you stress about the traffic and making it in the office on time, they are in a beach somewhere getting their tans on. Or they are by themselves eating lechon. Sometimes, they are in a rock concert, head-banging.

5. The Latecomer

They are borderline “Tsk-ers”. Always looking at their watches and cursing the traffic (yeah, so they curse a lot). It is also entertaining to see them once they alight from the buses or jeeps. They’re like rockets that have just been launched. They’re out the door as soon as it opens. Yes, you’ll check your pockets thinking that they’re snatchers. But they’re just late. For work, for an appointment, for an interview or for a date. Try matching their steps once they’ve hit the ground. Good luck. Suggest that you just watch from a distance. See how they weave through other commuters and those damn motorcycles. They’re late. Get out of their way!

6. The Here, There and Everywhere

There’s this person that you always see wherever you are. You go down in Ayala and he’s there. You ride a jeep along Shaw Boulevard, and he’s passing on your payment to the driver. You take the ferry to Puerto Galera and guess who’s sitting beside you?! There’s that one dude you always see anywhere you go. As in anywhere. Who are they?! Hopefully, not a snatcher. Or your real father.

7. The Storyteller

That noisy girl talking to her seatmate about her boyfriend who probably already broke up with her an hour earlier. That old lady who suddenly talks to her seatmate about her apo now working in Dubai. That annoying student trying to impress his classmates with jokes that are tasteless and not even close to funny. They exist. 

Sometimes their stories are interesting (nakita ko si sir kanina, may kasamang babae sa iStarbucks…). In every trip, they are there. Annoying everyone within an earshot (the whole bus, really). 

The Filipinos have a term for them—KSP. Yup, Kulang Sa Pansin. Or they’re just plain loud! We hope this article is as loud as them and that they can hear this!

8. The Singer/Songwriter

They’re the ones usually wearing earphones. Yup, the one belting out that new hit single of Taylor Swift. But he’s a guy. Most often, for some weird reason, it’s a man. 

Anyway, yeah, it’s the dude on your left who suddenly remembers how his high school English teacher broke his heart and forgetting that he’s in a public vehicle sings that Imelda Papin song. 

My favorites are those who invent the words to the song just for the sake of singing. “I decided long ago, never to walk in Edu Manzano!”  “I just can’t Taft Avenue!” (in a Michael Jackson tone).

Yes, commuting, although as stressful as your relatives asking you when you’re going to get married in every party, is also enjoyable and entertaining. 

Thank you to all the characters above for somewhat making traffic bearable instead of horrible.

But more importantly, which among those are you?:)