Monday, September 24, 2012

Pa-cool ka ba?

Maraming taong pa-cool. Kilala niyo sila. Sila yung kakapasok pa lang nila sa kwarto eh naiinis ka na. Baket? Kase nga pa-cool sila.

Yung parang alam mong may tinatago silang kamalian sa sarili nila kaya dinadaan nila sa pagpapanggap na "cool" sila.

Basta, nakakaasar lang sila. Alam niyo na yon.

Pa-Cool Ka Kung...

1. May suot kang headphones parati.

So mas astig pa yung pinapakinggan mo kesa makipagusap samen? O minememorize mo yung susunod na hit ni Justin Bieber? Mali eh.

Mag-ingat ka lang sana pag tumatawid ka. Baka 'di mo marinig busina ng FX, yari ka. One less pa-cool person in the world.

2. Tinataas mo collar ng polo mo kahit na wala ka naman sa golf course.

O sige na, ayaw mo na umitim leeg mo. Eh di mag-turtle neck ka. Mainit ba kamo? Eh di magtiis ka.

Alanganin tingnan eh. Baket nga ba kase naimbento ang collar sa mga shirt? Para may magawa lang siguro ang mga pa-cool. Ang kati eh!

Tsaka nakakatawa tingnan. Pilit.

3. Lahat ng kwento eh mas magaling kwento mo.

Wala kayo sa Lolo ko! Wala talaga kame sa lolo mo kase WALA kameng pake sa lolo mo. May lolo din kame noh!

At hindi contest ang buhay! Dapat chill lang. Hindi pa-cool. Tss.

Minsan naman, okay lang ibigay sa iba ang limelight.

4. Pag pinakilala ka sa maraming tao, ang "hi" mo ay peace sign.

Anak ng. Eto talaga ang nakakapang-init ng ulo.

Ano ba naman yung kumaway ka o kaya'y mag-"hi"?

Si Andrew E. ka ba?!

Peace sign ampucha.

5. Tawag mo sa Boracay ay Bora at Tagaytay ay Tags.

Sige nga, pano ang Palawan? O Cebu?

6. Parating may nakasaksak na Bluetooth earpiece sa tenga mo.

Busying busy ka?! In demand?!

Wala kang bulsa para sa telepono mo?

Walang vibrate phone mo?!

Diyos ko.

7. Lahat "kilala" mo.

O sige, ikaw na ang sikat. Mas sikat ka pa kay Nora Aunor. Walang himala na pa-cool ka talaga.

Buti sana kung kilala ka nila diba?

Pards, "it's not who you know but WHAT you know" that counts sa totoong buhay at sa huling hantungan.

8. Alam mo lahat.

Walang nakakaalam ng lahat. Si God lang. Tsaka si Madam Auring. Minsan, si Stargazer. Ay, tsaka si Santa Claus din pala (ano, hindi totoo si Santa Claus?!?! P*#@%6!%@!).

Wag magpanggap. Masama yon. Magagalit si God. Alam niya ang lahat.

Ikaw, hinde.

Sa huli, mahahalata ka. Mas nakakahiya.

9. Epal ka kahit di mo naman talaga alam pinaguusapan.

Rock pinaguusapan. Wala kang alam dyan. Not counted yung isang artikulo na nabasa mo sa Facebook.

Stick to K-Pop. Mag-focus ka na lang na maging subject matter expert don.

Baka tanungin sayo kung sino si Freddie Mercury eh wala kang maisagot.

Ikaw: Si Freddie Mercury yung kumanta ng Anak diba?!

Tanga ampucha.

10. Akala mo headband yung shades mo.

Wala akong masabi dito.

Nakakatawa lang talaga.

Ultimate Sign of Pa-Coolness toh!

11. Tingin mo "cool" ka.


Sige, minsan guilty ako dun sa mga iba (e nasa beach naman ako ah, san ko lalagay shades ko?!) pero hindi parati at hindi ako proud sa mga pagkakataong nangyayari yon. Dala ng pangangailangan, kumbaga.

Pero may mga tao talagang pa-cool eh. Ano magagawa naten?

May Facebook page na kaya sila?

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Men will be boys.

We are simple beings. We don't like complications.

We only know the primary colors. Yes, your lipstick is just pink to us no matter what shade you say it is.

So if you want us to buy your make up (please don't), write down the exact color then we'll give the paper to the sales lady.

We'll only mop the floor if we spilled something. We will not know if the floor is dusty.

We will not realize that the funny smell is coming from the garbage unless you tell us. We only take out the garbage when there is no more room for our empty beer bottle.

We don't know if the bed sheets are crumpled. For us, it's just something that makes the bed not itchy and look nice. Don't ask us if the bed sheet is straight or stretched out. We'll just say it is without even looking at it.

Going to the grocery store is not a scheduled activity for us. We will only feel the need to go once we run out of beers and if there is only one item left in the fridge. Oh, yogurt and vegetables are not considered "food" for us.

Life is so simple. Let's not make simple things complicated.

If we were in-charge of the house, we'd only cook corned beef or just open a can of pork and beans.

We just don't like complex things. We're practical like that.

If facial hair didn't get itchy, we'd all look like Moses.

We go to malls not really to look around. Two to three shops then we get tired and bored and just buy what we need.

That's another thing. When we decide to go to a mall, we already know where and what to buy. No need to loiter around the mall for three hours. We park the car, we enter the mall then we go straight to the store. We check out the item, look for our size then pay for the item. Then we leave.

We'd rather lie on the bed.

When we go out to restaurants, we'd rather order the same thing over and over than look at the menu and look for something new. We also don't order what we can't pronounce. And we're shy to ask the waiter.

So don't expect us to compliment you on your new hair color or on those new pair of shoes. We probably won't notice them. We're sorry. We don't color our hair and we only know of two shoes--office shoes and basketball shoes. All your shoes look the same to us.

Yes, we are cavemen. We just need food and shelter and we're good.

Oh, and we're lazy too.

Yes, boys will be boys.

While men are still boys.

Forgive us.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

It's more sad in the Philippines today.

The following days after yesterday will be sad days for Filipinos.

Dolphy, the King of Comedy, has passed away at 83 years old.

We will miss him hitting someone with a newspaper.

We will miss seeing someone on TV who is naturally funny.

A comedian who can make people laugh by not giving away money.

We will miss those puruntong shorts.

He made living along the riles cool.

He gave a lot of Filipinos hope by portraying roles that depicted how most Filipinos lived.

He saved a lot of politicians by making Filipinos forget about their problems even for at least once a day in a week.

Heck, I bet he saved a lot of people too who were thinking of committing suicide.

Dolphy's legacy in making people laugh encompassed several generations.

He was always funny.

He was one of those people that you never wanted to die.

He was synonymous to Hope and Laughter.

Thank you Dolphy for all the problems forgotten and set aside because of your punch lines.

Thank you for showing a lot of Filipinos that they can just laugh at their problems and not dwell on them too much.

That life is complicated as it is and that laughter should rule everyone's life for you to be really happy.

That problems can be solved if the whole family works together to solve them.

That despite all the problems, we'll be all right.

Thank you, Dolphy.

We'll be all right.

Say Hi to Panchito for us.

Monday, July 9, 2012

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Monday, June 25, 2012

Cooking 101

I am no chef. I don't even consider myself a cook. When I was single, my bestfriend in the kitchen was oil. With oil, you can cook anything! Just heat it then drop anything in the pot then voila!

But that was me when I just needed to feed myself (and when I lived with my parents and we had Ate Annie). Now, I need to feed the wife as well.

Recently, the only one always full in the house because of food is the trash can.

We even bought a new one this weekend! Was the wife hinting? Hmm...

Hey, I'm trying. I should get credit for that.

The first dish I tried was Pork Adobo. Yeah, yeah, that's an easy one but hey I'm a first-timer!

According to the wife, I didn't boil or tenderize the meat well. This dish ended up as Adobo Flakes (hello, lunch in the office for two days).

Then, I surfed the net and found an easy recipe for Beef Steak. It turned out to be the best Beef Strips I ever had! Hey, who said there is no experimentation in cooking? The taste does not justify the means. Hehe.

Oh, I also tried Sweet and Sour Meatballs. I should boast a little here. Even without bell peppers and pineapple, the dish turned out pretty okay. Even the wife said so. Well, "okay lang" means "good" to me so shut it! Though she said it was kulang (damn you, bell pepper and pineapple!), she ate around three to four meatballs so I guess she sort of liked it. Or she was just really hungry.

Hey, maybe I should only cook when the wife is REALLY hungry! Haha.

My last adventure was this weekend. I tried a very simple Hamburger recipe. The meat didn't cook well again. The fries stuck to the pan too. It was a disaster.

I ate two (hey, it was fine for me! yes, i'm biased) and the wife ate...wait for it...half of her burger. Sob sob.

Maybe there's something wrong with our electric stove. I should check on that tonight. Tsk tsk.

Anyway, the struggle continues. I know I will be able to whip up one decent dish soon.

I need to reorient myself when it comes to food.

"Not everything chewy can be eaten. Not everything chewy can be eaten." Repeat 10 times.

I will learn how to cook.

One drop of oil at a time.

I am saying sorry to the wife in advance.

See you in the kitchen, guys.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

You're Not As Young As You Think You Are (Pinoy Style)

Still feel that you're 23?

Well, you're not. Hehe.

Here are people and other things that will make you feel just the way you really should feel--old:) 

 Matet – got known for her signature line “Takot ako eh!”. Her first film was in 1986. More known for her being the daughter of showbiz legends Christopher De Leon and Nora Aunor than her acting. Yes, she is now 29 years old and she's still in showbiz.

 Aiza Seguerra – we first saw her when she competed in the Little Ms. Philippines way back in 1987. Yes, 1987. Became steadily known for her role as the daughter in “Okay Ka, Fairy Ko” and in Eat Bulaga. Shot to status as singer sensation for her hit song “Pagdating ng Panahon”. She is now also 29 years old and has short hair and has a girlfriend.

 Jericho Rosales – You first saw him as a Mr. Pogi contestant way back in 1996 when he was just 17 years old. You saw him but you didn’t mind him. Now, he’s 33 years old and you can't take him off your mind. Oh, he also knows how to speak English now.

Michael Jackson Concert – Yes, the King of Pop actually went here. That was way back in 1996 in an open area in Paranaque City. Were you there? He died in 2009.

Carmina Villaroel“Ang hirap talagang umakyat ng ligaw…” Do you remember her in that Jollibee commercial? She then became a mainstay in Palibhasa Lalake. Now, she is happily married with two kids and we still see her on TV and in more commercials. She is turning 37 this year. She became more beautiful as time went by.

John en Marsha – 1973-1990. Starring Dolphy, Nida Blanca, Maricel Soriano and Dely Atay-atayan. Most famous line was "Kayà ikáw, John, magsumíkap ka!" Maricel is 47 years old. Dolphy is turning 84. Nida Blanca is now dead. Dolphy followed this series up with Home Along da Riles. Do you feel old now?

Palibhasa Lalake –1986-1998. Originally had Miguel Rodriguez, Richard Gomez and Joey Marquez. John Estrada replaced Rodriguez when the actor passed away. Other memorable actors were Cynthia Patag and Gloria Romero. Gomez is now 46 years old. Marquez is 54 and was a former mayor of Paranaque while Estrada is turning 39 this year. We don't know where Patag is. Can anyone tell us what usually happened to guests during the endings of this show?

Atong Redillas – The former child star is a professor at UP Manila, last time we heard. Recognized as the first “Little Mr. Pogi”. We couldn't trace how old he is but we're guessing he's now in his 30's too.

Rene Requiestas – Broke into the movie industry in 1993. Most famous role was as Starzan’s sidekick, Cheetae. Died at the age of 36 in 2003. Cheetae gandang lalake?

Death of Ferdinand Marcos – the Father of Philippine Martial Law died in 1989 in Honolulu, Hawaii. He was 72 years old. He still is not buried at the Libingan ng mga Bayani as the case should be.

Bagets – Was released in 1984. William Martinez suffered a stroke recently. Herbert Bautista, 44 years old, is now Mayor of Quezon City. Aga Muhlach is now 42 years old and seems overweight. JC Bonnin is now 44 years old too and is a pastor in London, England. Raymond Launchengco, still single (hmm...), is now 47 years old and is still a singer.

Mello Yello – a popular soda back in the 80’s and early 90’s. Tasted better than Mountain Dew. Used to see bottle caps of this buried in our asphalted village roads. Now only available in Canada, Fiji, New Zealand, Tonga, United States and Vanuatu.

Nokia 5110 – was first released and became popular sometime in 1998. 14 years ago. Mine, I converted to antennae-less. What was your first cellphone?

Quad Makati – probably one of the more famous malls in the early 1990’s. Glorietta was opened in 1991. I miss Glico's.

Anne Curtis in TGIS – Broke into your television sets when she was just 12 years old in Anna Karenina and TGIS. She is now 27 and has become one of the sexiest women on TV. We always feel guilty looking at her photos from TGIS.

Film Fest Scandal – happened in 1994 with former Ms. Mauritius Viveka Babajee and Gretchen Barretto and Rocky Gutierrez. Where the line “Take it, take it” (Babajee) became infamous. Barretto is back into acting and Ms. Mauritius committed suicide in 2010 allegedly because of depression. Lolit Solis, the alleged mastermind of this, is still in showbiz. We Filipinos are truly a forgiving nation. Oh well.

Ang TV – "4:30 na, Ang TV na!" Who can forget the catchy opening song, Do Wah Diddy? Started airing in 1992. Where “Nge!” became the response for all jokes around the country. Was ABS CBN's That's Entertainment. Some are still active in show business. One was recently very active at the airport. Last episode aired in 1999. Yes, my first crush there was Jolina Magdangal. Shoot me, please.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – The cartoon show that got almost all our friends glued to the TV on Friday nights starting 1987. 25 years ago. Radical, dude.

The Triplets - Manilyn Reynes is now 40, Sheryl Cruz is now 38 and Kristina Paner is now 41. Uhm, they're all still baduy.

Bangkang Papel – Three young children from the Payatas trash slide tragedy was introduced by then-president Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo in 2001. She promised that their lives would be better. Their scholarships were stopped when GMA stepped down as president. Lumubog na ang bangka.

Josephine “Banig” Roberto – caught everyone’s attention back in 1989 with her singing voice in Star Search where she won for seven consecutive weeks. Also beat out Christina Aguilera in International Star Search at the age of 10. She is now about 29 years old and a few years ago went back to the Philippines and promoted her international album. Are banigs still being used for picnics? Oops, off topic.

San Mig Light – When was the first time you tasted this “light” beer? SML was introduced sometime in 2001. 11 years ago. If we're wrong about the year, it's probably the alcohol typing.

Eraserheads – Released their first album electromagneticpop in 1993. 19 years ago. They recently held their reunion concert. No love lost among the band members. But great times.

Michael Jordan – Retired for the second and last time in 1999. 13 years ago. He is now 49 years old. His new girlfriend is a model much younger than him. He is still my idol after all these years.

Gwapings – Were introduced in 1991. Jomari Yllana is now 36. Eric Fructuoso is also 36 and Mark Anthony Fernandez is now 33 years old. The three are still active in showbiz. Who here didn't dance to “Extasy, Extano” with them?

Reality check. Hehe.

Yup, I can't believe all those years just zoomed by us.

At any rate, don't stop feeling young, everyone!

Chikitam Chikitam Chikititamtamtam Pitumpampam Pitumpam Pitipitipitamtamtam PitumtamPiti.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Age is nothing but a number

They say age is only a number. It's a number all right. Two times I now have to rest before I reach the fifth floor. Ten sit ups before I call it quits on my exercise. Two pills a day for my hypertension. One. The number of times I exercise in a month. Yes, age is everything BUT a number.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

I'm Married! You can find someone to love you too!

Hello, my two loyal readers. How has it been? How much has your life changed since last November (the last time I wrote here--wow!)? Oh, you asking me? Well, not much changed except I GOT MARRIED!:)

Yup, I finally took the plunge. Or somebody finally took the plunge with me. Haha. Yup, her helmet is pretty top of the line so no need to worry, mom (one of my readers).

Anyway, whoa. Where do I start?!

It was the best party I ever organized. One of the most meaningful too. I didn't do it all by myself though. It was made even more special because it was me and my wife who planned everything. With the help of the very special people in our lives, of course (shout out to you guys. you know who you are--if you don't then you're not one of them, hehe).

Well, there. I got over it. The "will-someone-ever-love-me" phase in my life. I could be loved after all! For eternity. For my better or for my worst! What a feeling. I married the most understanding and patient woman in the world! How lucky am I?!

Did you ever feel that you weren't lovable? That no one would ever fall in love with you because you were not worth falling in love with? I did.

I felt that I was the most unlovable person in the world. I was impatient. I was stubborn. I was hot-headed. I was lazy. I was fat. I was curly. I had pimples. I felt stupid. I didn't have a stable job. I felt that I was the person dads would warn their daughters not to associate themselves with. Or fall in love with. Or even look at.

I still feel some of those until now. Yeah, I'm still fat. I'm still impatient and hot-headed. And I still don't think that much of myself.

But someone is helping me feel good about myself. Someone fell in love with me. And that means a lot to me.

Someone actually doesn't care that I'm fat (although she teases me everyday and pokes my stomach while we're watching TV on the couch). Someone is patient enough to deal with my being impatient. SOMEONE LOVES ME. Wow.

And I love her.

I told God. I told all our relatives and friends. I told her. And I told myself.

To those who feel that they're unlovable (or to those who can't spell it--with an "e" after love?), keep your chins up. Keep smiling. Love yourself first. We all have faults. But we all are lovable. Someone is out there.

But have love present within you first. This is so you won't push them away when they come. Because you know that you are worth loving. Everyone is (well...okay most people).

You are worth loving. Always remember that.

Look at me.