Friday, November 11, 2011

At the end of the day...

When did this become an official corporate jargon?

"AT THE END OF THE DAY, profit is the most integral part of our business."

No s*#t, duh?

Every time I hear it in meetings (or in the elevator), I smile to myself. I smile and naughtily think of other terms to replace this. Or sometimes I think WHEN I would actually BE the ONE saying it.

Apparently, only bosses have the right to say that. Ironically, it was voted as one of the most annoying phrases ever spoken.

With crazy things happening each and every day at the office, I'm glad that this phrase somewhat makes me sane one way or the other.

Yes, it's the phrase people say before they make the most important statement during the meeting. Or, just to shut up that annoying person who keeps on suggesting stupid campaigns.

Some office mates and I have even resorted to saluting every time we hear the phrase uttered in meetings. Hehe, sorry bosses.

Anyway, here are some alternative phrases that we can use once we become bosses. Some I got online, some I invented and tweaked to become as close to the phrase as possible (guess my inventions! haha).

Here they are. Enjoy!

1. When all is said and done...
2. Before we go to sleep...
3. Before we turn off the bedside lamp...
4. When the fat lady sings...
5. When Elvis leaves the building...
6. Taking everything else into consideration...
7. Ultimately...
8. Once the school bell rings...
9. After a bus hits me when I exit this building...
10. When that last guitar chord is strum...
11. After slapping you...
12. When the Pop Tart's out of the toaster...
13. When all appeals are exhausted and the client is broke...
14. When Gloria finally gets to fly out of the country for that face alteration...
15. When Noynoy finally does something that will make him worthy to be President of a country...
16. Once you are able to send a message using your Globe line...
17. When Manny Pacquiao finally loses...
18. When Ramona Revilla returns to the country...
19. When Kuya Germs finally falls asleep...
20. When the pen is finally parked...
21. When there is no traffic along EDSA...
22. When I take my shirt off and you girls run out of the conference room...
23. Pag pumayat na si Sharon...
24. When Kris Aquino finally shuts her mouth...
25. When Boy Abunda asks us to look in his magical mirror...

There. There are so many variations to the phrase. I wonder why people don't use those instead. Haha.

Anyway, I'm bored. Forgive me for this list.

Any other suggestions?