Saturday, November 28, 2009

Life-long Lessons

Lifted (with permission, of course!) from another highschool classmate (it runs in the school! haha), Trina Palana-Soledad.

Read on and discover a few things about her and about yourself;p

Thanks again, Trins!

1) Kung wala kang masasabing maganda, tumahimik ka na lang.
"If you can't say anything good, don't say anything at all."

2) Huwag kang mag-alala kung pag-tsismisan ka ng iba. Sa huli, lalabas din ang katotohanan.
"People will always say things about you. In the end, the truth shall prevail."

3) Ang pikon talo.
"The short-tempered always loses."

4) Kapag tumulong ka sa kapwa mo, dapat ito'y mula sa puso. Kung hindi, wag mo nang gawin. Hindi maganda ang nagpapanggap.
"If you help others, it must come from the heart. If it's not sincere, it's useless."

5) Ang respeto ay hindi basta basta binibigay sa tao. Kailangan mong ipakita na karapat-dapat kang bigyan ng respeto bago mo ito makamit.
"Respect is not just given. It is earned."

6) Wag mong hayaang tapakan ka ng ibang tao kung alam mong ikaw ay tama. Lumaban ka.
"Don’t let anyone step on you. If you know you're right, fight for it."

7) Lumayo ka sa mga taong negatibo and hindi masayahin. Sila ang tutulak sa iyo pababa.
"Stay away from negative and unhappy people; they will take you down with them."

8) Ang umaayaw ay di nagwawagi, ang nagwawagi ay di umaayaw.
"Quitters never win. Winners never quit."

9) Hindi pwerket madasalin ka, memoryado mo ang bibliya, palasimba ka at nag-bibigay ka na donasyon sa mahihirap ay didiretso ka na sa langit. Ang intensyon sa likod ng mga gawaing ito, ang pagtulong/kabaitan sa kapwa at kagandahan ng puso ang importante sa mata ng Diyos.
"If one prays a lot, memorizes the Bible, frequently attends mass and donates to charity - that doesn't mean you will go straight to heaven. The intentions behind those habits, good deeds and sincere hearts are what matters in the eyes of God."

10) Layuan ang mga taong nang-gagamit at mukhang pera.
"Stay away from people who are USERS and who WORSHIP money."
***USERS: People who use their friends/family for money, car rides, gifts, free meals (any freebies) and attention just to name a few. The ones who will be "extra" nice because they know they'll get something out of you/from you. After getting what they want, they'll go back to their rotten ways.***

11) Imbes na magreklamo, maghanap ka na lang ng solusyon.
"Instead of complaining and ranting, just go and find a solution."

12) Hindi lahat ng magulang mabait, mapag-mahal at mapag-aruga sa anak. Masuwerte ako at pinagpala ng Diyos at binigyan ako ng magulang na magmamahal sa akin kahit ano pang mangyari.
"Not all parents are loving, caring and supportive to their children. I'm blessed and lucky to have such amazing parents who love me unconditionally."

13) Ang inggitera/inggetero ay dapat iwasan. Wala kang mapapala sa kanila.
"Stay away from jealous or envious people. They will do you no good."

14) Aanhin ang kayamanan, tagumpay at dami ng ari-arian kung walang saya sa buhay mo? Walang pagmamahal? Mas mabuti nang ika'y mahirap pero masaya.
"What's the use of being rich, successful and having material wealth if you are not happy or if you have no love in your life? I'd rather be poor but happy in LOVE, in that case."

15) Kung hindi mo kayang bayaran ang isang bonggang kasal, wag mong gawing bongga. Tama na sa kakaisip sa imahen mo at tigilan na ang pagkukunwari. Kung mababaon ka sa utang, kababawan at katangahan na yun. Masmalala pa pagnanghingi ka ng kontribusyon sa mga taong inimbita mo sa kasal. Nakakahiya at low class naman.
"If you can't afford a lavish wedding, do not have one. Forget about your image. Don't be shallow and pretentious. If you will end up being in debt, it's not a smart decision. You will only make it worse if you go through it THEN end up asking money (or contributions) from people whom you've invited in your wedding. It's hands-down "embarrassing"." **based on other's experience.**

16) Hindi pwerket kamag-anak, dapat laging pag-pasensyahan. Pag-inalipusta ka, lumaban ka.
"Just because they are your relatives or family, you should let them say whatever they want to. If they disrespect or put you down, you have to do something about it."

17) Malaki ang pagkakaiba ng pagiging bastos at low-class sa pagtatanggol sa sarili.
"There's a big difference between being rude and standing up for yourself to preserve your dignity."

18) Iwasan ang mga taong natutuwa kapag nakikita kang hirap sa buhay
"Stay away from people who find pleasure and joy when you are going through hardships in life."

19) Huwag mong umpisahan ang isang bagay kung hindi mo kayang tapusin.
"Don't start anything if you can't finish it."

20) Sa pagbigay ng regalo: Mas may halaga ang intensyon ng taong nagbigay keysa sa regalo mismo. Walang deadline ang pagbigay ng regalo sa kahit anong okasyon. Kaya huwag mong madaliin yung magreregalo sayo. Huwag kang makapal - mahiya ka naman.
"The manner of giving is worth more than the gift. So never pressure nor rush anyone to give you gifts; no matter what the occasion is. There's no deadline. Don't be dense or shameless." ***This is NOT a fun experience when you're on the GIVING end.***

21) Ang anak ay hindi pabigat sa buhay kundi biyaya ng Maykapal. Hindi dapat isinusumbat ng magulang ang pag-aaruga sa anak dahil ito ay kanilang responsibilidad.
"Children aren't burdens but gifts from God. No parent should ever upbraid their kids- because caring for and loving them are their responsibility to God."

22) Pulutin ang mabuti, ang masama ay iwaksi.
"Emulate what is good, ignore what is bad."

23) Hindi napagtatanto ng tao na ang opinyon nila sa mundo ay isang pagkukumpisal ng kanilang karakter.
"People do not seem to realize that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character."

24) Kung sino ang masalita ay siyang kulang sa gawa.
"Whoever talks too much never do much."

25) Walang pag-asa ang taong mahilig mag-marunong, mapagmagaling at damang higit na mahusay siya sa iba. Dahil sa kanilang mundo, hindi sila maaring magkamali. At wala tao na makahihigit pa sa kanilang katalinuhan.
"There's no hope for people who are know-it-alls, self-righteous and superior. In their world, they do not & can never make mistakes. And for them, no one can be smarter than them."

26) Mahirap kausapin ang bobo at makitid utak. Ikaw ang talo. Sayang lang oras mo.
"It's hard to talk to stupid, ignorant & narrow-minded people...you won't be able to go through their brains. It's a waste of time."

27) Delikado ang taong may konting kaalaman. Sa isip niya, siya ay kagalingan kahit hindi.
"A little knowledge is dangerous: A small amount of knowledge can cause people to think they are more knowledgeable than they really are."

28) Minsan, ang taong hindi masaya sa kanyang sarili, sa asawa o buhay ay naghahatid ng pait sa mga tao sa kanyang kapaligiran nang hindi niya namamalayan.
"A person who is not happy with himself, his wife or his life unconsciously exudes/shows bitterness to the people around him."

29) Ang paghusga ng isang tao base sa kanyang trabaho, titulo, kapangyarihan, pera at ari-arian ay napakababaw. Ang tao ay dapat husgahan base sa kanyang intergridad at lakas ng loob.
"To judge a man based on his position or power or money he made are shallow. A man should be judged by his integrity and his inner strength."

30) Maraming taong magsasabing hindi mo kaya gawin ang maraming bagay. Hindi mo makakamit ang iyong adhikain at maaabot ang iyong mga pangarap. Di mo kailangan makinig. Gawin mo ang gusto mo. Huwag sumuko at ikaw ay magtatagumpay..
"Many people will tell you that you cannot do this or that; you can't reach your goals or attain your dreams. You don't have to listen. Do what you have to do. Don't give up and success will be yours."

Ang mamuhay ng mabuti ay ang pinakamatamis na paghihiganti.



Saturday, November 21, 2009

On moving out and parents...

It may be for a bunch of different reasons. You may have just realized that you and your parents cannot co-exist in one roof. You may have suddenly found that inner independence in you. Maybe you're from the province and needed a place that is nearer to your school or your place of work. Or maybe your boyfriend just asked you to move in with him. Man, your lucky if your parents just thought that you should have your own place just for the sake of it.

Well, for reasons that only you and you only will know, moving out is one of the most liberating and confusing and exciting and (insert more adjectives, adverbs, nouns or what-have-you's here) time in one's adult life. First off, let me tell you that I still live with my parents just to put things in perspective. From my perspective, that is. Anyway, probably one of the issues that you deal with once you experience Quarterlife Crisis is the moving out part. Should you or shouldn't you? Will you get a room mate or will you go solo (bringing your yaya with you does not make you go solo or does not make you independent, okay?)? What stuff to bring? Where will you live? Near your school, office, boyfriend/girlfriends' or just really far away from you parents? Do you have enough money to get you through the two months advance, one month deposit phase? Man, those are tough decisions to make. Kudos to you if you've already made them.

Uprooting your whole life from one location to another can be a pain in the ass and also on the wallet. As for me, it's more on the latter. I want to but I can't. I mean, I can but I can't. Get it? Some of my questions are, "Who will take care of my parents when I leave?," "What if something happens to them in the middle of the night and I'm not home to save them?," "What is a better way to use my money that I would be paying as rent?," but mostly "What for?"

My older brother moved out years ago and only comes home every Sunday. My office is just significantly near from where I live. My girlfriend lives nearby (not near enough though, she says. haha. hi baby!). And I just give money to my parents for spoiling me. Hehe. But yeah, it DOES cross my mind. Especially the times when my dad "accidentally" locks the security lock because he forgot I wasn't home yet. Or when my mom becomes too chatty and asks you every question invented in the world. Or when I just feel like I want to be alone. But then again, I'd rather live with my parents and have those occasional fights and arguments rather than live alone and fight and complain to a wall or to an LCD TV. I'd rather have interaction with my cousins and my pamangkins (we live in a compound) than wallow in this Quarterlife Crisis alone in my balcony that can only fit my right leg.

Although I admit that I envy those who are already living on their own, I still think that right now, my place is here at home. It's cheaper and it's more fun. If I want to talk to somebody, I just go to my parents' room. If I wanna play a prank on somebody, I just go to my sister's room. And yeah, the household help is also okay. Haha.

I also want to be here with my parents, basically. They're old and can really get to my nerves with just a few words but they're my parents. I want to take care of them and not regret not having to have spent time with them while they're still here. At least I get to see them everyday. Get to pick up lessons from them every dinner time when they preach. And maybe someday I'll get this house too as consolation for all these. Hahaha, I'm totally kidding. I just don't want to be like some friends who never got to tell their parents they love them everyday before they go to bed. I want to hug them when something good or bad happens to me on a particular day. I want to go to them when I need some advice. I just hope God gives me more patience and understanding. Hehe. They're my parents and I should love and respect them (mental note: put this statement on my bathroom mirror). It's not even about the house. It's about the experience of living at home.

So, are you ready to move out? Need a room mate? Nah, I'm fine here...:)

Now to play a prank on my helpless sister...




Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Break from the madness

Will be having limited internet access as I'm going to the Ad Congress in Subic. Haha, as if I have regular readers!

Oh, I think there's more madness there though...




Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Quarterlife Crisis Defined by unknown

din



The Quarter-Life Crisis
by unknown


It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may or may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.



You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.



You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.



You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.



You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.



You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person.

One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.



You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while wining the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!



What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.






Sunday, November 15, 2009

Do you think Pacquiao ever experienced Quarterlife Crisis?

Seriously? You think he has/does?

After waking up at 7 a.m. today (probably the earliest I've woken up on a Sunday since braces were the "in" thing) and driving all the way to Makati with my dad to watch the live broadcast of the Pacquiao-Cotto fight with my brother, the thought suddenly entered my mind. Did Manny Pacquiao ever experience being lost and confused? Hey, he's the same age as me and we see him smiling before a very important fight. He must not have a lot of problems. But then I realized that the guy came from a poor family. He struggled at a very young age and even worked odd jobs just to support his family.

He did experience quarterlife crisis. But he was way younger than any of us. AND he worked hard to overcome that. When they didn't have a decent meal on their small table, he didn't just say, "Screw this, I'm stealing" or "I'm just gonna give up and die with the rest of my family." No. He willed himself to where he is now. It all started with a decision. He decided that he would do anything just to take care of his family. Just to put food on their table. And that was what happened. He discovered that he had a talent. He strove to become a good boxer. Then from that point on, he decided that he was gonna be the best boxer in the world and worked even harder to achieve this.

After demolishing Puerto Rican Miguel Cotto earlier, he has reached his goal. Many times over. Financially and maybe emotionally (he's a boxer so the "physically" part depends on his opponents if they're not Mexicans). He has uprooted his family and gave them a bigger table where there are many food to eat. Where there are choices on what to eat.

He made a choice. This was to do something about his situation. He did not blame the government (okay, he probably did). He did not resort to stealing or doing drugs because of depression. He did not get mad at his parents for not giving them a better future. He took the road less traveled. He punched his way to the top. Like what we all should do. Starting now. Not literally, hopefully.

Some observations while watching the fight at Fiamma earlier (Thanks, Rosa!):

  • Longanisa stays in your breath for a minimum of five hours.
  • I can still chew gum for more than five hours (my record is nine hours).
  • Julio Cesar Chavez Jr. got the best reception especially from the girls (yes, some guys cheered for him because of his looks too). Oh, and this despite sporting an 80s hairdo.
  • The Wapakman trailer also garnered a lot of applause from the crowd although most were laughing.
  • Cotto didn't need to wink when he actually winked at Pacquiao after the fight because his eye was already half-shut.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

God comes to us exactly where we are...

Reposting from high school batchmate and fellow kulot Michelle Nacianceno. Thanks, Lai, for posting this:)

God comes to us exactly where we are—

Not where we should have been if we had made all the right choices in life, ... Read More
Not where we could have been if we had taken every opportunity that God has offered us,
Not where we wish we were if we didn’t have to be in the place where we find ourselves,
Not where we think we are because our minds are out of sync with our hearts,
Not where other people think we are or think we ought to be when they are attending to their own agendas.

God comes to us exactly where we are, right now.



Someone actually agrees with me! Haha


Here is a message to me by a high school batchmate. May I say that she could not have said it any better. Thanks, Annabelle! And yeah, here's to less suicides! Haha.

I've read your blog on QUARTERLIFE CRISIS and even if I caught the clarity of your message (I hope I really did), I still read your blog the 3rd time as of today. I was trying to deeply digest the thoughts you put in altogether holding on to it as an opportunity for me to reflect on my own, to understand which of your examples I might fit in or describe me. Till I came upon a logical conclusion: My life isn't perfect. I'm not perfect. You're not perfect. Your neighbor, your parents, teachers and everyone else isn’t perfect. Life isn't suppose to be perfect. Imperfection creates perfection. When we stumble and fall, we all as human beings have the God given instinctive gift to stand up almost right after.
Quarterlife crisis, mid-life crisis.... it's both crisis. No matter where we are in our life, no matter how far we've gone, achieved or underachieve... No matter how successful or perhaps feeling inefficient, I think every man is bound to find himself every once in a while in his life to ponder on things he knows he can achieve or do better but didnt. I believe the "being or feeling" lost is the key to finding our better selves. It is a chance of pursuing your dream. When you know you're lost, then you know where you actually want to go. You may not know exactly where, but for sure if you're lost you have that feeling you're not suppose to be there. So obviously you know you’ve got to go find the right place. But that shouldn’t be considered crisis. The finding or searching is a bright big sign of HOPE.
Sure I ask myself “what have I done with my life”………….. and I always know my answer is “I can be better”. Because I know that just like you and everyone else in this world, God blessed me with capabilities I might have not fully explored yet. And I have watched a thousand of times from “The Secret”, how we can create something out of nothing and how the law of attraction can bring us to what our mind wants to achieve. And so why am I not the President? Surely, if I wanted to contribute in this country I might as well be one. Hahah! How was I in High School and College? I’ve gone through adventures and may have fallen hard from the sky. Hurt myself and saw a stupid girl for being stupid when she’s really smart. Haha! But I surely have enjoyed all its worth and no regrets! Then howcome I find myself also asking the “what ifs”? Hmm…. Is it because I’m only human and bound to always ask out of curiosity? Face it, the human race is bound to be hungry for more. Never contented. Or only contented for a short period of time and then wants more. It’s in our system. It’s universal. Our mind, our body, the universe all work the same. Always needing something to feed its existence.
If I’m running my own company then why do I still ask money from my dad? Well, why does everyone I know still ask money from their parents? Don’t tell me you have not borrowed or received any single cent or peso from your dad or mom this year or last year. There is something truly different from how our parents were raised by our grandparents and how our parents may have raised our generation. Am I blaming our parents? Of course not! I’m just saying! Besides, all the bad attitude came from the wrong teachings and example of a woman named Rebekkah, she is the mother of all b#tch@s from the BC, married to Abram, … taught her favorite son how to be self centered, lie, manipulate and steal. (This is another topic and irrelevant but an interesting story from the greatest book of history, the Bible.)

Back to the topic: When you said there are those who are just lucky and know what to do in their life. Well, I can say there are probably many out there who knows what they want to do in their life but still not successful and ask themselves why. So are they the lucky ones? I honestly think the lucky ones are the ones who can seriously deeply find true happiness within. These are the people who can find contentment no matter what life brings them. Hey, I’m not perfect and I will be honest to say, I have high expectations of myself and still striving to achieve atleast half of what my parents achieved. But I do take pride in finding the greatest joy and contentment whenever I am my best at being a mother to my two adorable kids who reciprocates the love and values I’ve inculcated in them for them to apply towards their friends, family and hopefully the rest of society as they grow. This gives me a reason to answer my hunger for contentment. I can die today, …. Face God and tell him….I was not perfect like you but I was like you, All Knowing, All loving, All merciful when I brought 2 lives in this world! Raised and still is raising my children well in order for them to contribute to, if not good, to a better society.

So whatever the crisis, midlife or quarterlife… it’s crisis when you see it as crisis and not find the light in it. But it sure does give us a reason to drink, weep and whine. Not the most outstanding thing to do but very typically human. Very normal.

---Annabelle M. Papas




Sunday, November 8, 2009

Business-mind-dead


I remember my Tita Bessie telling her son Rommel and me one dinner that we can never be rich in this country if not for two things: Having rich parents and having your own business. Or, establishing your own religion (this was my other option, haha). Upon hearing that, I already knew what I wanted to have (well, I was looking for rich parents for sale on Google but unfortunately they didn't have any)--my own business (I also researched about that religion thing but the market was over-saturated already).

Hence, www.pinoycallture.com. Although it took me a gazilion years before I thought of a solid business, I still think that having your own company will not only make you richer faster but also give you the sense of pride and satisfaction that only your own possession can give. Kinda like your own child earning his/her first peso or your horse winning in a race (haha, that's totally different, I'm sorry). You see, I've dabbled into business before. Yeah, I sold basketball cards to classmates as well as played with fire by selling fireworks (with Rommel) and even rented a stall in a tiangge and went to Divisoria regularly for that. If you know me well enough then you know that that was a real chore.

Anyway, an epiphany came to me last Christmas break and now the plan is in fruition. Not yet fruit-bearing but at least it is now a real company. Of course, I only got the people that I know can help me nurture the company and make it the best company that we can have (or enough for me to save up and invest in my own religion). We're now at the birth pains stage and I cannot ask for anything more. I know that going through some aches and pains (not only in business) only brings forth blessings in the end. Although it's hard to introduce a new concept (everyone's going digital!) to people, I still thank the Lord that many people are still open to new ideas for their businesses and the way they interact.

My tita is hopefully right and maybe someday I'll get to enjoy the fruits of what we're doing now. But for me, aside from the material possessions that I may be able to buy in the future, the real reward for me is the experience. What the struggles bring/brought. What I learned from starting a business. The friends and contacts met. The discussions me and my partners had. Learning more about them and teaching each other what we know best. Being rejected. Everything.

If you just keep on bouncing around jobs and are really at a loss on what you want to do in life, then try putting up a business. Maybe the corporate world is not for you. Study about the business first, of course. What you don't know won't hurt you. So you have to know everything that can happen to your endeavor.

I say that if you really want to know about your self, your real self, go and start a business. You'll learn how tough you are. You'll find out just how patient and understanding you are. My favorite saying now is, "Nothing ventured, nothing gained."

Go and venture! Go and gain.



Saturday, November 7, 2009

Innatia

A poem composed for me by my brother during harder times...I still read it once in a while...Thanks for this, Kuya Mike...






Innatia

This is for the confused and bewildered.
For those overwhelmed by the beauty and filth of the Earth.
For those in the midst of hopelessness whilst swathed in splendor.
This is for you.
You are safe in my bosom and constantly under my concerned eye.
The rapture that is you will always propel you to fulfill your dreams.
And I will never tire of telling you this.
A believe in you as you believe in yourself.
For I know that within the blazes of your core you have weighed your strength.
And have deemed it fit.
Fit to devour our malice and slap humanity's ugly face.
And offer your cheek then leave as you wish.
Because the power that you wield is heavy on your hand.
And upon opening your clenched fist, you will unleash the fervor that we need.
The fervor that is in you.
The fervor that is you.
And so, your luck shall not run low.
Instead it overflows.
Yet, luck is not what you need.
But founding of what is arcane; and a steady steed that will take you to where
you know you should be among those who have combed mankind with the lengths of their fingers.
And held the world with thumb and pointer.
Laughing at its lateness.

-Mike Constantino

Truly a beautiful and apt poem. Perfect for those experiencing Quarterlife Crisis. Perfect.

Thank you again, my brother.




Thursday, November 5, 2009

Women and Shopping:)

Women and shopping. Always a sight to marvel at. EVEN if you're the one following your partner all around the store and ALL AROUND the mall. Yeah, being part of the experience is really quite interesting. Yeah, I must admit (c'mon guys, admit this to) that there can be more satisfying activities than lugging around the shopping bags of your wife or girlfriend (yeah...happy hour...mmm...) but I believe that this is one of man's responsibilities when it comes to having a partner. Even if the whole time you're right arm is longer than you're left arm, it is still a fun experience if you make it so. Me, I've learned to balance the time I'm holding the bags. 15 minutes on the right arm then 15 minutes on the left arm. It's also funny when men look at each other and give each other a sort of comforting look seemingly saying, "You're not alone. We can do this."

Although it will always be a mystery why women take longer than men when shopping (just some one more thing that takes them longer to achieve!), I don't think there will ever be an end to the relationship between them and malls. It is perhaps the best relationship for them. It's like men with bars. They go there, have fun, leave their responsibilities behind for a couple of hours then go home to their real partners. It can't get any better than that.

Oh, not knowing what to buy is not really an integral part of quarterlife crisis. It just means that you're a woman:) Which isn't really a bad thing, okay? My girlfriend might be reading this. She might not pay for our dinner the next time I accompany her shopping.





Tuesday, November 3, 2009

New Moon


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