Monday, June 29, 2009

Commitment


Strong word. Commitment. To tell yourself that you can do something. Or to tell someone that you can do it. It's so easy to say yes to something but it's very hard to deliver on that promise. It's your word and you. You break it, you suffer.

In our life, we have to commit to certain things. We have to commit to school. We have to commit to our girlfriends/boyfriends. We have to commit to our jobs. Not committing to anything in life seems to be impossible. What is the essence of life if you don't commit to something, right? If you don't work towards a goal and if you don't challenge yourself, then what are you living for?

It's so hard to commit. This probably is one of the hardest things to do in life. To commit to something. But this will test your character. This will show how much you want to succeed in life.

Commit to something. Anything. Commit to clean your bathroom. Believe me, you will feel good once you finish (and that awful smell will finally be gone!). Commit to something today. Start with something small and once you feel that you've succeeded, then move on to bigger things. It may be one of the hardest things to do but once you realize that you committed to something and finished what you started, it is also one of the best feelings in the world.

And people will like you more too;)

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Black or White


We knew he was bad. We rocked with him. We were introduced to a rat named "Ben" and found out Billie Jean was not his lover. He taught us the fun way of saying A,B,C and 1,2,3. For a time, he healed the world and it really didn't matter if you were black or white.

The king of pop. Michael Jackson. Dead at 50.

Funny that he really actually experienced midlife crisis when he was in his 20s. Or even earlier. I wonder if he ever experienced quarterlife crisis. Perhaps when he was in his teens. He had the lucky kind of PQC (Pinoy Quarterlife Crisis) though. He probably asked questions like, "What should I do with my money?" and "Who should I marry next?". But I'm sure he was a troubled soul. He won't be troubled anymore.

Wow, Michael Jackson. Dead at 50. Surreal. Unfortunate. Gone too soon. Thriller.

He is not alone. Man, he had Lisa Marie Presley. Now, he has all his fans.

We grew up with his music and with his dance moves as our soundtrack. Forget about Eraserheads first and forget about all the other bands and singers during our time. Michael Jackson was the man. He may have been weird and all but we cannot deny that we enjoyed his music and that his music and life helped define our generation. He made dancing fun. He made singing in high pitches fun. He made life fun.

He rocked our world, that's for sure and we'll never stop loving him.

Thanks, Michael. May your soul rest in peace.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Parent Trap

We've all fallen into this. Unless you're one of the "lucky ones" and have parents who are not too strict and not too lenient. The perfect parents! They ask you what you want and respect you for wanting that. But we cannot choose our relatives (one of the most disheartening facts of life) especially our parents. We cannot annul them too so don't even think about it.

Many have fallen into the trap of their parents wanting them to take this or that course in college. Which friends to choose and even what clothes to wear. Many lives have been destroyed because of this. Many parents think that just because you live under their roof, they have the power to control your lives. To some extent, they can. But many go overboard. I know someone who took up nursing in college because her mom was a nurse and wanted her to become one as well because nurses are in demand in foreign countries. She ended up dropping out after her second year and became a prostitute (haha, kidding, but that would have really been interesting, huh?). She took up law instead and is now a young liar (lawyer! i meant, lawyer!).

When is it wise to follow our parents' directions and when is it advisable to go behind their backs and do what you WANT? Who knows? Many years have been wasted by many just because they wanted to satisfy their parents' wishes before theirs. What happens? After their parents are bed-ridden (I am not accusing anyone of being responsible for this!), they do what they want. After five or so years of doing what they thought they want or what mommy dear wanted. Sad, right?

What is more sad (sadder?) is when you keep convincing yourself that you like what you're doing because you don't want your parents to get on your case again. These people die in their 40s.

Respect begets respect. That's what my mom and dad always tells me. So respect your parents but ask them to respect your wishes.

Crawl out of the trap now. You're 39 years old, for Christ's sake.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Happy Father's Day!


"Any man can be a father but it takes someone special to be a dad." - Anne Geddes

Hail to the chiefs! We won't be here if not for them. If not for their lousy pick up lines during soirees or if not for our moms hitching rides with them to avoid the curfew during martial law, then yes, we wouldn't be here. Girls were so naive back then! Haha. Or, thank fixed marriages. Hehe.

You are what you are because of your dad. It's either you idolize the guy, look up to him or hate him for giving you that permanent scar on your forehead when he punched you to smitherins when you got your maid pregnant. Dads will be dads.

Unfortunately, we acquire what we see especially if you live with your dad for a long time so that makes us an automatic prototype of our dads. Scary, right? Well, we all have our own misfortunes in life. Some choose to be exactly like their dads while others choose to be the exact opposite of their fathers. Most successful dads are those that veered away from imitating their dads. Haha.

But like I said, dads will be dads. And kids will be kids. Today is the day for appreciating our fathers. Whatever contribution they have in our lives, it is still their day. They took care of us (most of them anyway). They nurtured us (oh, no, moms did this). And they taught us well ("Son, check out that girl in stripes..."). And we owe them a lot. Our lives, in fact.

Let us all show our love and appreciation for all our dads today and not blame them for all our misfortunes.

Like my dad always says, "We only have ourselves to blame for our own misfortunes."

Dad, I still hate it that you named me after you...but I've forgiven you for this.

Happy Dad's day, Reycons:) I love you.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Who am I?

The greatest question on Earth aside from "Where's my underwear?" And, "Why does she keep talking? Doesn't she know I just want to get her into bed?" Or, "Where do I find THE perfect jeans?"

Okay, there are a lot of important questions! But "Who am I and what do I want in this life?" are probably the questions that are always at the back of your mind. Please stop denying this. Why did I take up Mass Communications? Why am I a nurse? What the hell am I doing in a call center?!" Queries such as those that you can't seem to find the answer to!

I remember when I was in second year high school, my classmates and I were asked the question "Who am I?" by our religion teacher. Yeah, don't be a smart ass and answer your name (but that's who I am, I insisted and was asked to stand up in front of the class). Not your name, not your family name and not who "Emai" your maid is. We were all dumbfounded. Especially the classmate whose maid's name was "Emai." Who are we aside from our names? How do we describe ourselves? Our hopes and dreams and where we are right now in achieving those dreams. Perhaps we were too young. But that was a good age to start formulating who you want to be. Yeah, maybe that was the real question there. "What or who do you want to be?" Wow, I just got it now!

And I still can't answer it! I've bounced around some jobs (some jobs, literally), saw my friends with jobs that I would love to have, tried exploring jobs I knew I didn't like and even got stuck to a job because I was comfortable in it already even though I was already being exploited. But still no answers for me.

I know I want to write a book someday. Getting it published is another thing. I know I want to have my own company someday. This has been achieved. The company earning is again another thing (but VERY achievable). I want to have a partner who understands me and loves me and wants to be loved by me. Check (sans the usual and normal misunderstandings that I hope lessens in the future, hehe). Simple wants and simple needs. That's me. But do I get contented easily? So what? Just as long as I'm happy. That's partly me. I just want to be happy with my simple wants and needs and to provide happiness to the people around me.

Hey, I'm getting there. I might be able to answer this question soon...:)

Who are you?

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Are you afraid of success?

You think you can't handle it? You think you'll get blinded by the flashing of the cameras and the spotlight flushed directly at you? Will you be able to handle all the responsibilities that will come from being successful? Don't want to wear a coat and tie to go with your loads of money and your model girlfriend? You think you don't deserve success because you stole that business idea from your ex?

It's another phenomenon. People afraid of being successful. Trying their best to remain under the radar because they think they can't handle what comes with being on top. Are you skeptical about meeting other big honchos because you think they're better than you?

Then you ARE afraid of the "S" word. No, not Sex, hopefully, you nympho.

Success defined is achieving your goals without stepping on other people's ambitions. Success is defined as winning that trophy with a clean conscience. It is starting with a plan and doing everything in your power to get what you want. No put downs and no excuses and no name-calling included in the process.

We were all born to be successful. It does not matter what school we attended or what language you speak. I believe that God did not put us here thinking: "Oh, let's put Juan into this world so people can step on him and laugh at him all the time!" We all have our purpose. And that is to be the best that we can be. Being successful is not a crime. Just as long as you don't steal money from your constituents, then it is not a crime to be the mayor of your city. It is not your fault that you were luckier or worked harder than your friends. You don't have anything to be ashamed of. Man, you did it! Revel in it! Nurture it. Enjoy it.

Just don't flaunt it.

Peer Pressure

Not the "If you don't smoke, we'll smoke you" kind of peer pressure. Yes, still not the "If you don't cut class, we'll tell your crush that you love her" type of peer pressure

What I'm talking about here is the pressure we get from our peers who seem to have more cars, more money, more credit cards, more possessions, more girlfriends (?) and more everything. Why are they more successful than us? Or, why aren't we more successful than them or just as successful as them? Why aren't we?

Why aren't you?

Some of the friends I interviewed said that happiness is relative. Their friends might be richer but material possessions do not equate to happiness. But they did not say that they were happy too. To each his/her own, I guess.

Are you too laid back? Guilty. Have you missed a lot of opportunities because you thought that they would always come back? Guilty as charged again. Are you lazy? Hmm...

Where did we go wrong? What was lacking in our lives? Effort?

Are you afraid of success? Let's talk about this tomorrow:)

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Make Waves


Birthday card from my dad for my 23rd birthday...(designed and printed by him!)




Dear Dinjo,

Making waves is what life is all about.
It's better to burn out than rust out or, better still, it's better to be sorry for the things you've done than the things you didn't do.
But we know you have everything planned out and we're all behind you.

Happy Birthday!

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Birthday card from mom on my 25th...

Always be true to yourself, my son, for there is greatness within you

Throughout your life, I hope you will always pursue sensitivity and kindness as your chosen way.
Your sense of humor is wonderful; hold on to it.
Being able to laugh at the world will see you through many hard times.
Guard against bitterness and sarcasm; they can can destroy you.

Be yourself; the world will benefit from your talent and your humor.
Search for people who love and appreciate you for who you are and who encourage you to improve.
Don't be satisfied with less than all you can be, for you have greatness within you.

Bill Cross

My mom knew what was happening to me...thanks,mom:) Oh, Happy Birthday, Dad! I'll post his card to me tomorrow:)

Saturday, June 13, 2009

What is Quarterlife Crisis?

Exactly what is a quarterlife crisis?

Well, how old do you expect to live? How old is the midlife crisis usually? Well, it was pegged at 50 years old a few decades ago when there weren't too many factories emitting smoke, less drunk drivers, lower prices of fuel and not too many people were killing themselves (and others) just to rid them of problems in life (many EDSA billboards had been witness to this). Okay, so with my God Giveth and the Lord taketh away mathematical prowess, I assume that quarterlife crisis occurs when you're around 23 years old until you're around 30 (at least mine did). It's the time you wake up on your birthday (or one somebody else's bed) and question yourself--what have I done with my life?

Yeah, what have you done with your life? Or better yet, what are you capable of doing with your life? In those 20 or so years, what have you contributed to this world (or to make you feel a little better, in our country, your family or to your future at least). Or would you even have a future or just contribute to your early demise?

It's about re-evaluating your life. Your young and "productive" life. It's wondering about your self-worth. It's looking back at your high school and college (I'm hoping you're out of college already) peers and trying your best not to compare your achievements with them but failing to do so miserably. It's wishing you had richer parents or were just borne into royalty (lucky you! bastard). It's realizing that you're not the most sought after bachelor/bachelorette after graduating from high school now that your world just got bigger coz you're in college or in the corporate world and now have more competition (don't worry, I'm sure your GPA is higher than theirs. uh-huh. and isn't it normal to still have pimples?!).

Are you forever going to rely on your parents? If you are, then give me your address so I can ask your parents if they're open to adopting a 31 year old guy. If you're slowly growing a conscience and kicking yourself (not literally! stop that!) for still asking for gas money from "dada," then you are experiencing quarterlife crisis. If you're still reading this sentence, then you are experiencing quarterlife crisis.

Yes, admit it. Once in your life or in one drinking session with your best mates, you've thought of all those written above (lucky you if you don't have pimples though!).

I'm not saying or assuming that everyone goes through this phenomena. There are those lucky individuals (go rot in hell!) who just know what to do. Thrust upon them is the knowledge or wisdom that they are bound to achieve in this life. That they just know what to do with their lives. OR are just content with who they are now. We shall call them "the lucky ones." They are lucky enough to realize at a young age what they ought to do in this life. They know what they want and are already on their way to achieving that. Truly, they ARE the lucky ones.

Each individual has their own goals (growing a full mustache is not a goal, okay?). It may be serving people, buying expensive cars, providing for a family, being their own boss, traveling around the globe or even becoming the president (oh please have this dream come true for someone right now, Lord) but all of us pass through a stage. This stage I will call the "what if" stage.

What if I studied for that entrance exam instead of attending my friend's birthday party where I wasn't even able to talk to my crush? What if I trained hard at the sport I was excelling in rather than relying on my dad's friend to put me in the Philippine Team (the friend died before final the line up was announced?!). What if I took up that offer from my aunt to study abroad? What if I pursued her/him? What if I didn't let my boss harass me into having this relationship with him? What if I looked to the left first instead of to the right, then I wouldn't be in a wheelchair now (okay, just checking if you're still paying attention!).

Forgive the rambling. I just wanted everyone to understand what quarterlife crisis is and to let those that are experiencing them now know that they are not alone.

So, what are your "what if's?"

This is what this blog is all about.

Our journey to finding ourselves.